when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
