Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
