I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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