Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
