i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
