there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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