Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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