my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
