I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I enjoy the company of your penis
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