well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
