Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
