Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
