Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
