In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
