is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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