My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
