What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
