ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
