we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
