the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
God, you're like boner-b-gone
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
