We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
