Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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