Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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