Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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