Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
