Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
