Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
