i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
