it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
