i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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