Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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