wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just want to make out with him forever
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Randomize
