The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
