Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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