i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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