the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
