I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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