Define "chronic" masturbator.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
