And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
