the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
