obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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