She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
