Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
