WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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