I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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