I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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