i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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