I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Randomize
