How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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