I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
